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• Someone is boring me… I think it is me. – Dylan Thomas • Life is like mail sometimes you just don't get it • I say no to drugs they just don't listen • The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. • If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? • The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. • There are 10 kinds of people…Those who understand Binary; and those who Don’t.!! • Live everyday as if it's your last day on earth, one day it will come true. • It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest • TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame yourself. • The beatings will continue until morale improves. • Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. • We waste time, so you don't have to. • A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all. • When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. • INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. • Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. • No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. - Michael Pritchard • I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. -- Dave Barry • I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people • Quit smoking! Take air pollution straight. • Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15. • 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. • Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. • When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure he isn't doing the same thing • Don't follow me. I m lost too......... • Get fired - No one can call you a Quitter ! • They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold. • It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. • Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government. • Artificial Intelligence is no match to Natural Stupidity • How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on • Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. • Smile - it makes people wonder what you are upto • I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. • I don't break the rules. I merely test their elasticity • Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. • When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. -mark twain • Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism • I often have long conversations all by myself, and I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. • If you can laugh at yourself, you've got a really sick sense of humour. • If most people said what's on their minds, they'd be speechless • We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? • There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep. • There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. • Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying. • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. • If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. • Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. • When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. • I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. • "I have nothing to declare but my genius "---Oscar Wilde at NewYork Customs • In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular • To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human; in fact it is downright natural • Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning • Sure, I'm crazy. But that used to mean something. Now, everybody's crazy. • There are two kinds of person in the world. Who's who and who’s he. • It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it. • Of course UNIX is user-friendly; it's just choosy about its friends! • Originality is the art of concealing your source • Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you • When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried • A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it sure will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort • Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time! • Wisdom eventually comes to all of us. Someday it might even be your turn. • You are proof that God has a sense of humour. • Never be afraid to try something new. Remember professionals built the Titanic…Amateurs built the Arc. • Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former -Albert Einstein • He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. • Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.-Douglas Adams • Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it. • In life, it's not who you know that's important, its how your wife found out.-- Joey Adams • Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. • Nothing is foolproof for a sufficiently talented fool! • To iterate is human, to recurse is divine
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